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Guest Blog Feature: Heather Fraelick, LMT & Facilitator of The Art of Letting Go: A Myofascial Self-Care Workshop

5/9/2017

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Heather offers her incredible self-care classes (as demonstrated above) at Tribe on the 4th Thursdays of every month from 7-9pm in addition to operating a private practice in massage therapy in Chicago. We sat down to learn about what inspires, influences and informs this community member. ​

What are some key things you share with people who have never experienced your workshop?  ​

Come as you are, be open to learning something new and know that you’ll be in a safe space to heal.  I provide individual, as well as, group attention and no questions will go unaddressed.  As a teacher I find it enjoyable and important for me to share information on an audible, kinesthetic and visual level to help enhance understanding of the material shared.

What inspired you to create this workshop?

I am inspired when I see someone feel empowered.  I, personally, feel empowered when I know the tools that can enhance my body’s health and my overall wellbeing and it is important, as well as fun, for me to share these tools with others so, they too, can feel empowered and able to achieve their health care goals.  Myofascial Release self care techniques have positively enhanced my active lifestyle, have empowered clients I’ve worked with take an active approach to their well-being and I simply want to share them with others!
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How has this work influenced your life personally?

This work has strengthened the connection I have with my body and well-being.  I have increased range of motion in my joints and a sense of freedom in my body when I move.  I notice when I am able to move my body with greater ease, it positively affects my state of mind and I am able to enjoy my life and physical activities more as a result.

How might others benefit from experiencing your workshop for self-care?

Others may benefit from this workshop by adding self care tools to their everyday regime that can enhance their overall well-being, help them release tension patterns in their body, allow them move with a greater sense of ease and it can also help enhance and maintain the work they receive in bodywork/massage therapy or myofascial release sessions.  All of these benefits can contribute to a sense of empowerment because they will readily have these tools to draw from as a form of prevention or to use when chronic tension patterns start to arise.
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When and where do you offer these classes?

This workshop is offered once a month at Tribe, A Healing Arts Community located at 1819 W Belmont Avenue.  The dates and focus of each session are as follows:

Remaining 2017 Schedule:
5/25 - The Front Body Release
6/22 - The Back Body Release
7/27 - The Neck & TMJ Release
8/24 - The Shoulders/Arms/Hands Release
9/28 - The Torso & Chest Release
10/26 - The Quads/Hammies & Glutes Release
11/16 - The Lower Legs & Feet Release
12/28 - Students Choice Release

All workshops are from 7-9pm.
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Anything else you'd like to share?

I am a lover of movement and life!  I was a professional dancer and have danced for over 34 years.  I am also passionate learning about other cultures and ways of being in the world.  I travel the world on a regular basis to feed this love and curiosity within me.  I’ve been to 40 of the 50 states and I’ve traveled to 8 countries….most recent travels, Australia!

Lastly, but not least, my passion for bodywork and healing is strong.  I feel the body is a barometer of how we feel in our lives. Not a new idea - metaphysics talks about it - but I want people to recognize that when we work together, we’re fine tuning your barometer. When you're stuck in your head all day long, it’s challenging to make anything better because you’re so disconnected from the vessel you’re in. How in the world can you make changes in your life if you’re not connected? You can only think your way through life so much. You have to feel your body and life in order to heal it.

Our Guest

Heather Fraelick began her professional life as a dancer, performing with various companies and artists throughout Chicago. She also taught throughout the Northwest suburbs and was a guest artist for several District 214 high schools and CNADM conventions.
Throughout her career, she experienced dance related injuries that left her unable to perform.  As a result, she decided to learn about healing and attended the New School for Massage; Bodywork and Healing in 2004. Her experience in massage therapy school changed her life, and she chose to dedicate her career to the service of helping others heal through individual sessions and self care workshops.
Now with over 12 years of massage therapy experience and over 15 years of professional dance experience, she brings forth an intuitive blend of bodywork modalities to tailor each session to meet her clients' individual needs.  She primarily draws from myofascial release, deep tissue massage therapy, craniosacral work and reflexology.  Many of her clients are those experiencing chronic pain, neck and shoulder injuries, headaches, low back pain and plantar fascitis.  
Heather’s private practice is located at Elemental Health in the Wicker Park neighborhood in Chicago.
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Elegant Solutions through Collaborative Problem Solving (Part V of a Five-Part Series about Clean Living)

5/2/2017

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with Guest Blogger Aline Defiglia LCSW

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Two people were studying in a small, stuffy room in a University library. One person wanted the window open, one person wanted it closed.  Instead of focusing on solutions, (whether the window would be opened or closed) they concentrated on needs and resolved the problem by coming up with another alternative- opening a window in the next room. This provided fresh air for the person who wanted it and, at the same time, prevented the north wind from blowing directly on the person who objected to being in a strong draft.


Is it really possible to craft a win/win method of solving many of the most entrenched interpersonal issues we face? Can we be released from….

win/lose                     CAPITULATION and DOMINATION?
mini-lose/mini-lose   COMPROMISE?
lose/lose                     DENIAL and AVOIDANCE?

Collaborative problem solving requires the use of listening skills, assertion skills, and the 1-2-3 dialogue or conflict resolution method.  Let’s go through the six-step process step by step. Pay attention to the common pitfalls of using this method!

Step 1: Define the problem in terms of needs, not solutions

  • To discover needs, try to find out why the person wants the solution they initially proposed. Once you understand the advantages that solution has for them, you have discovered their “need”
  • Use this method when there is a conflict of tangible needs. For a conflict of values, there are other ways of solving conflict.
  • Common Pitfall: Handle the emotions first! Refer to part III and IV of my previous posts on listening and the 1-2-3 dialogue. ​

Step 2: Brainstorm possible solutions

  • Try for quantity, not quality. Seasoned brainstormers know many of the proposals will be weeded out in the end
  • Don’t evaluate the need. Nobody says “no”, that will never work”, that is dumb”, “that is terrific”…etc.
  • Don’t clarify or seek clarification, this will slow down the generation of ideas
  • Go for zany ideas and out of the box thinking which can help foster greater creativity
  • Expand on each other’s ideas
  • List every idea without attaching people’s names or listing them separately

Step 3: Select the solution or combination of solutions that meet both parties’ needs

  • Clarify a solution if needed, but don’t evaluate it
  • Don’t eliminate solutions one by one, ask the parties for which solutions are favored
  • State what looks best to you and see what overlaps
  • Use consensus as a decision making guideline
  • Common Pitfall: It can be hard to reach a consensus if some of the steps are not done correctly. Try again. Assert your needs clearly and succinctly. Listen long and hard until you have discovered the other person’s need and then brainstorm freely. Sometimes adequate progress can’t be made because of an underlying emotional barrier. If this seems to be the case, offer a door opener like, “Seems like something is hanging us up. Is there something else in our relationship we should talk about first?” Sometimes, the other person will say, “No, nothing is wrong”- and then will gradually spell out the problem. ​

Step 4: Plan who will do what, where, and by when

  • Take time to figure out the nitty gritty
  • Write out the agreement

Step 5: Implement the Plan ​

  • Complete action items on schedule
  • When agreements are not lived up to, even when made with great sincerity, use assertion messages, followed by reflective listening
  • Common Pitfall: Not following up to see the action items are carried out. Lack of follow through doesn’t necessarily mean the other person doesn’t care about you or about the agreed upon solution. Set and use realistic checkpoints to evaluate the process.

Step 6: Evaluate the problem-solving process and, at a later date, how well the solution turned out

  • Before you start implementing the plan, take a few minutes to review the experience of the process.
    • How do you feel about the process in general
    • What you liked most and least
    • Something that bothered each of the participants
    • Something you wish you hadn't done or said
    • What you can do better next time
  • Set a time to see how well the solution is working. Some action plans don’t stand the test of time, either in total or in part and may need to be edited or a new action plan made. If it is working well, why not celebrate having worked through a difficult issue with success?

The methods you have learned through this series have many uses: at home, at school, and at work. They can be used in goal setting, as a supplement to listening at a certain stage in helping relationships, in rule setting, and in individual problem solving, among others.

The time you spend learning how to communicate toxin –free is time repaid many times over!

“When you fail to use your creative, problem-solving talent, you strike at the quality of your own life.” –George Prince

The following was excerpted in part from People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts by: Robert Bolton, Ph.D. This is the final article in a five part series about clean living through toxin-free communication. To read Part I about Nonviolent Communication, click here. To read Part II about Emotional Liberation, click here. To read Part III about Listening, click here. To read Part IV about the 1-2-3 Dialogue: Handling Emotions in a Conflict, click here.

Author

Aline Bethea Defiglia LCSW, MPH, CADC  is a licensed psychotherapist, life and career coach, trainer and consultant practicing in Chicago and Elmhurst, Illinois.  You can find out more at abwellness.life
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The 1-2-3 Dialogue: Handling Emotions in a Conflict (Part IV of a Five-Part Series about Clean Living)

4/28/2017

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with Guest Blogger Aline Defiglia LCSW

When people get emotionally escalated, they are actually fundamentally different people than when they are calm.
  • Adrenaline flows faster
  • Strength increases by 20%
  • The liver pumps sugar into the bloodstream
  • More oxygen is demanded from the heart and lungs
  • Veins become enlarged
  • The rational “thinking” part of your brain can’t perform as well
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“This is an emotional condition that the person is in, and it means that, while he’s beautifully equipped for a brawl, he’s very poorly equipped to get a problem solved.” - George Odiorne, Management Consultant
The 1-2-3 Dialogue can be thought of as a simple set of rules that govern conflict. We are familiar with this concept when it comes to the sports arena or even war between nations.
However, in the most important areas of our lives, conflicts are largely unregulated, with no agreed upon rules to protect the participants or the relationship.

Step 1: Treat the other person with respect

Respect for another person is an attitude backed up by specific actions such as the way you listen, your tone of voice, selection of words, and type of reasoning.  Even if you greatly respect another person, you are likely to judge, attack and criticize in the heat of conflict. Words or non-verbal actions of disrespect are often done carelessly, but they block communication and create wounds that may never fully heal. ​

Step 2: Listen until you hear the other side

“We do not understand an opposing idea until we have so exposed ourselves to it that we feel the pull of its persuasion, until we arrive at the point where we really see the power of whatever element of truth it contains.” -Dr. Richard Cabot
When you are listening, it is not the time to offer explanations, apologies, or make any other statements except to reflect your understanding of the other person’s point of view or experience. Allow the other person time to think about your reflection, indicate that it was correct, explain their point of view further, or correct any inaccuracies in their speaking or your listening. If the other person adds or corrects your reflection, summarize that addition to their satisfaction.  Visit my previous article: Listening 101 for more details.
When the other person feels heard, you have earned the right to speak your point of view and express your feelings.

Step 3: State your views, needs and feelings

  • State your point briefly.
  • Avoid loaded words.
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say. (Don’t withhold information, don’t focus on one issue when your main concern centers on something else, don’t make more extreme statements than what you really believe).  
  • Disclose your feelings.

There are four ways to use the 1-2-3 Dialogue

1. You can use it even when another person is not. By listening with respect and responding in non-inflammatory ways, you can help the other person calm down and engage in a more productive conversation

2. In the heat of a conflict, you can introduce the method briefly and ask the other person to join you in this way of communicating.

3. Introduce the method when things are calm and peaceful.
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4. You can use it to help others resolve conflicts by helping mediate in a third party role. ​
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​The best human relationships usually exist on the other side of a conflict.  
The following was excerpted in part from People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts by: Robert Bolton, Ph.D. This article is the third in a five part series about clean living through toxin-free communication. To read Part I about Nonviolent Communication, click here. To read Part II about Emotional Liberation, click here. To read Part III about Listening, click here.
Next week stay tuned for how to creatively solve problems in the midst of conflict!

Author

Aline Bethea Defiglia LCSW, MPH, CADC  is a licensed psychotherapist, life and career coach, trainer and consultant practicing in Chicago and Elmhurst, Illinois.  You can find out more at abwellness.life
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Guest Blog Feature: Roger Hughes, Trager® Approach, MLD Therapist

3/18/2017

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Roger offers private sessions at Tribe in addition to his upcoming workshop Introduction to the Trager® Approach today from 4-7pm. We sat down to learn about what inspires, influences and informs this community member. ​

What are some key things you share with people who have never experienced your workshop?

Learn how to:
  • Live in a freer, more spacious body
  • Effectively ‘dialogue’ with your own patterns of tension
  • Cultivate calmness in the mind
  • Integrate natural states of being and moving into daily life!

The principles of Trager give people the skills to achieve a feeling of ease and mental calm in their daily life. In the class setting I guide people into simple and natural movements that cultivate qualities of lightness, lengthening, expansiveness, fluidity, enlivening, relaxation and more… These teachings are learned through ‘process’ rather than a specific set of markers, the work itself is feeling based. Achieving a positive feeling experience is cultivated by either a mind-guided, a body-initiated or mix of cues, questions, prompts. People learn how to shift their attention and intention to a feeling that lessens tension and invites more natural states of being and moving. With a bit of practice people are able to integrate these bodymind skills for a way to dissolve tension before it evolves into compensatory patterns, pain or dis-ease.    

I guide people through a ‘process’ of arriving, arriving into the space they are in, and gradually into the space they occupy.., into their own body awareness. Here the conscious mind may have distractions, chatterings, worries and other thoughts… I teach people how to become friends with their own stiffness, achiness, moodiness, tension, and invite them to be open to possibilities of positive feelings, and meaningful self-regulation. People experience a sense of being more connected, grounded and  balanced through their own structure.., often accompanied by a sense of mental calmness.  It is a fun and simple journey into what can be!  
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What inspired you to create this workshop?

The inspiration for this workshop comes from years of being with this work, my own self-development and the strong passion to share my experience and knowledge with others. The approach itself is what is unique in Trager, that is to say it shifts the nature of the dialogue we have with ourselves to better reach that place of ease. The more we feel at ease, the more we find ourselves residing there… This is a valuable life lesson.

How has this work influenced your life personally?

This work has had and continues to have profound influences in my personal life. In 1999 I attended an Introductory Workshop in the Trager Approach here in Chicago. That first experience changed my view, and set a new way of sensing and taming to my ‘tension’. This is a limitless natural process.

My life is infused with positive habits that remind and re-invite me into my body. This practice, this way of living more consciously in my body has established a baseline repertoire of positive feeling experiences. For instances I am free to recall a more pleasant feeling experience, a more lively/energetic mood or a sense of overall calm... It is about suggesting possibilities to the bodymind. When I encounter resistance in my life, I am able to pause, stay in my body and better resolve whatever has been presented. The body knows. I teach others how to develop this life skill for themselves.

Milton Trager the developer of this work said that Trager feeds the soul. Trager has helped me through thick and thin times… I have come to rely on the wisdom of my bodymind.
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How might others benefit from experiencing your workshop for self-care?

Good question. This work is self-care. In class we practice achieving ‘active relaxation’ that is then easily dove-tailed into daily life activities. Benefits are usually a sense of ease in the body and calm in the mind. With some practice people become more aware of patterns that better serve them at work and in play. My classes help people reconnect, recall or discover anew what it feels like to be comfortable in their body. This process of being more in-touch with yourself is a process of pleasantness and simplicity!

When and where do you offer this work?

Introduction to the Trager® Approach at Tribe, March 19th from 4-7pm. 

Anything else you'd like to share?

My site:  http://www.rogerhugheslmt.com/blog
A recent video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gz-LXyTYwqQ
Trager for Daily Life classes website:  http://www.tragerfordailylife.com/
Roger Tolle’s website (International Trager Instructor);   http://www.rogertolle.net/
United States Trager Association:  http://www.tragerus.org/

Our Guest

Roger Hughes maintains a full time Trager® practice in Chicago. He is a graduate of the Chicago School of Massage Therapy and has been a state licensed massage therapist since 1995.
​He is currently a Trager Instructor Trainee. He has lead introductory workshops in the Trager® Approach throughout the Midwest since 2005. He has great passion for spreading this unique approach to mind body wellness and personal development.
​He has also been a certified Vodder therapist for 19 years.
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Listening 101 (Part III of a Five-Part Series about Clean Living)

3/15/2017

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with Guest Blogger Aline Defiglia LCSW

Hearing + suspenseful waiting = Listening
“True human sincerity, true transparency…It is a rare and difficult thing; and so much of it depends on the person who is listening to us!
And when it comes our turn to listen, which of these are we…?”  
-Anonymous​
Effective listening involves three main skills: Paying Attention, Following, and Reflecting.

Attention is giving your physical attention to another person, listening with your whole body. To attend to someone is to have an open posture, lean in, maintain eye contact and remain in relaxed alertness.

85% of communication is non-verbal!

Following means to stay out of the other person’s way so you can discover how they view their situation. Invite someone to speak, encourage them with short, minimal phrases, ask open-ended questions (infrequently!), and practice the value of silence.

Reflecting is when the listener restates the feeling or content of what the speaker has communicated and does so in a way that demonstrates understanding and acceptance.
  • Paraphrasing focuses on the speaker’s content
  • Mirroring feelings infers feelings from content and reflects it back to the speaker
  • Expressing deeper understanding reflects the deeper layer behind the content and the feeling:
    • Speaker: “I can’t seem to do anything right for my boss.”
    • Receiver: “I hear (sense) that you are angry or frustrated that you don’t receive acknowledgement for the work you do…”
  • Summaries are recaps of the significant parts of a long monologue

What You Can Expect

There are four stages in the process of improving communication. First, when a person learns about the roadblocks they have been sending all their life, they feel guilty. Then, when they try these new skills, it seems wooden and artificial, and so the person feels phony. However, after using these new techniques for a few weeks, people often become quite skillful at them. Finally, after using them for a couple of years, it becomes so integrated into the person’s life style that they do it well and without conscious awareness.
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The following was excerpted in part from People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts by: Robert Bolton, Ph.D. This article is the third in a five part series about clean living through toxin-free communication. To read Part I about Nonviolent Communication, click here. To read Part II about Emotional Liberation, click here.

Author

Aline Bethea Defiglia LCSW, MPH, CADC  is a licensed psychotherapist, life and career coach, trainer and consultant practicing in Chicago and Elmhurst, Illinois.  You can find out more at abwellness.life
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Four Tips for the Beginning Mindful Practitioner

3/14/2017

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with Guest Blogger Erin Haddock of Five Keys Yoga, Tribe Affiliate

Five Keys Yoga is participating in #MindfulMarch again this year! We'll be offering donation-based classes, with proceeds going to the Love Your Brain Foundation. The LYB Foundation provides yoga and guided mindfulness meditation to survivors of Traumatic Brain Injury and their caregivers. Our #MindfulMarch classes will include yoga and a mindfulness meditation. Beginners are welcome!
#MindfulMarch class at Five Keys Yoga
March 28th, 5:30-6:30pm*
*Class on the 28th includes complimentary chiropractic adjustment
with Dr. Taylor Clifford
But you don't have to wait for March 28th to get started on mindfulness. There are oodles of guided meditations on YouTube, the Headspace app, etc. (not to mention some on the 5 Keys blog...) to give you a sense of the various ways of meditating. You might feel ready to start right now, but aren't sure what to expect or don't know how mindfulness is different than meditation. Never fear! Mindfulness is just a type of meditation. All you need is a relatively quiet space, where you can remain undisturbed for a few minutes. Once you're ready to give it a go, here are four tips.
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​Learn to Ride the Wave of Thoughts
The process of mindfulness is simple, but challenging. Mindfulness only requires an awareness of thoughts moving through the mind.  As mindfulness practitioners, we are instructed to watch our thoughts without "getting involved in them".  Practically speaking, all that means is trying to keep the mind from getting attached to certain thoughts or lines of thinking.  It also means we eschew cultivating feelings of judgement about the content of our thoughts or the ability to control our thoughts.  

​Mindfulness is often compared to surfing - learning to ride the wave without getting caught up within it.Often I hear statements like, "meditation isn't for me, my thoughts just won't stand still." My response is no one's do. Even great masters of meditation say that their thoughts are unceasing (until our brain ceases to be).  They've simply learned how to slow the pace of thoughts, direct attention to thought patterns they want to be having, and away from thought patterns they do not want to be having. They experience thoughts without identifying with them. In other words, they've developed better control over their own minds. That is mindfulness; not an empty head.
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​Develop Patience
Sometimes I meet practitioners who are just beginning to practice but feel discouraged that they are unable to control their mind like a great master. (Note that I am not a great master either.) Would you expect to be able to speak a language fluently with just a few lessons? Mindfulness is a skill that needs proper development to flourish. One of the Yoga Sutras (an ancient yoga guidebook) says "practice becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time, without break and in all earnestness." ( I.14) So we must develop patience for ourself and the process.

Patience is not easy, especially living in the U.S. We're used to getting most of the things we want and need relatively quickly. Because many of us haven't had much of a chance to practice our patience skills, meditation becomes a prime way to develop those as well. We learn to sit through thoughts going through the mind like "I need to send that email right now," "something smells good in the kitchen" or "I can't sit here with that noise outside," without reacting right away. This develops an ability to pause after experiencing a thought. We may decide to take the action our first impulse suggested or we may take a different one. This pause encourages us to react using our "wisdom brain" (which is related to the pre-frontal cortex) and make choices that support our larger goals, rather than choices that are only expedient at the moment.
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​
​Be Consistent and Focused
For those of us who want to accelerate the process, the Sutras also say "to the keen and intent practitioner [mastery] comes very quickly...The time necessary for success further depends on whether the practice is mild, medium or intense." (I.21-22)  So one sure way to speed up your practice is to be very consistent and focused. Would you expect to learn to play the piano well, by practicing with lots of distractions in the background or only once in a while? Of course not. For some reason, we think we should be good at mindfulness without the commitment and dedication that other skills take. Unless we were very lucky, we weren't taught to practice mindfulness by our parents, in school, or at our job. So often this talent lies dormant until the right teacher (person or otherwise) arrives.​

Start small - with just five minutes or so - but be consistent about practicing regularly and minimize distractions, both outside and inside yourself. When you've developed a short routine, you will learn that meditating is enjoyable. Although meditation can bring up unpleasant thoughts and emotions, especially in the beginning, usually it feels really great to truly do nothing. When else do you get the chance to just sit still without any expectations? Once you've taught yourself how good it feels to meditate, you'll start to actively crave it. And these benefits you develop in your mind - patience, consistency, focus - will inevitably begin to bleed into your life beyond meditation.
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​Practice Mindfulness Outside of Formal Meditation
Another way to intensify a mindfulness practice is to cultivate a mindful attitude outside of formal meditation practice. To approach each thought, word, and behavior with gentle curiosity. It's like watching your own mind play out like a movie. Sure, we may feel happiness, anger, joy, fear, or sadness while we're watching "the movie". But when we go to the movies, we usually don't obsess over certain plot points or pieces of dialogue, as we do over the thoughts in our head. We watch what's happening, acknowledge how we feel, and move on to the next scene. Later, we might analyze what happened and determine how to improve things in the future. But we do so with an air of detachment.

We can live our whole lives like that - being present to what is actually happening in the moment; not pushing emotion or thoughts away, nor holding onto them; and letting go of the past, in service of the future.
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​If you'd like to be guided through a mindfulness meditation in person, come to our donation-based #MindfulMarch class at Tribe!

Author

Erin Haddock is E-RYT 200, RYT 500, RCYT with Yoga Alliance.  She completed her 200 hour teacher training with the creator of the Yoga for the Special Child® (YSC) method, Sonia Sumar and has taught the YSC method since 2010.  She is a certified Stress Management Specialist, and also holds certifications in Adaptive Yoga, the YSC method, and Yoga for Teens.  She is a registered children's yoga instructor with Yoga Alliance, and a senior practitioner with YSC.
Erin is passionate about bringing yoga to people who experience barriers to their practice – including physical, intellectual, emotional, financial or geographic.  She pursues continuing education in Yoga Therapy at the Integral Yoga Institute in Buckingham, VA and is a member of the International Association of Yoga Therapists and Integral Yoga Teachers Association.
The Yoga Therapy components of Erin's instruction are based on the Yoga for the Special Child method, not derived from her status as an RYT® with Yoga Alliance Registry.

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Featured Blog Guest: Meet Debbie Taitel, Energy Healer, Author & Clairvoyant Visionary

3/13/2017

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Debbie offers beautiful monthly meditations at Tribe in her Awakening Souls Series every 3rd Thursday of the month. We sat down to learn about what inspires, influences and informs this community member. 

What are some key things you share with people who have never experienced your workshop?

Come join the fun as we awaken and explore our natural psychic abilities! All workshops are healing, rejuvenating and completely experiential. There is a lot of permission for inner exploration, growth and expansion in an energetically safe, judgement free zone. Workshops are designed for the beginner as well as those who already have a meditation practice. Most people leave at peace with a renewed sense of wholeness.

What inspired you to create this workshop?

Overall I created the workshops to give the clients I read (in a clairvoyant session) the tools to create their own psychic healing. As I started to witness the the changes and miracles the clients were making on a daily basis, I realized the need for more workshops.  The February workshop; Love: Balancing the 4th Chakra was literally born out of love. The 4th Chakra holds passion, dreams and desires. It is also the place where body and spirit energies come together. When in balance, one has the ability to create and manifest their heart’s desire. I’ve also created a special “Heart Loop” and “Aura of Love” technique that each student created and experienced. It’s really quite something to be “in love” like that.

How has this work influenced your life personally?

The work I share has completely changed my life. Over the years I’ve taken (and continue to take) Mastery Classes and Workshops in addition to my own work. Most recently I graduated from an intense year long Transmedium Mastery Class. I learned additional deep healing techniques as well as working and communicating with the Ascended Masters. As a Clairvoyant Visionary my work is to continually learn whether it be from from Master Teachers or from those I teach or read.

How might others benefit from experiencing your workshop for self-care?

The techniques I teach help each student tune in to their natural psychic abilities. Whether it’s an energy tune up, balancing, or learning how to protect their space, there is a great deal of space for self exploration, expansion and awakening in every class. I simply guide the student to find their own answers within.

When and where do you offer these classes?

I’m currently holding in-person workshops the third Thursday of every month at Tribe's Classroom @ 1819. I also offer free guided meditations you can access on-line or by phone. The meditations are between 45 - 60 minutes long and are designed as an energy tune up.

Anything else you'd like to share?

So many fun things to share, so little time! In addition to Clairvoyant Readings I sell Real Estate in the Chicagoland area.

For daily inspiration please join my personal Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/debbie.taitel
​and my Clairvoyant Readings by Debra page: https://www.facebook.com/SpiritLightInsight
I also write a spiritual blog filled with meditation tips, and thought provoking content.
Have a look! https://dailymuse.spiritlightinsight.com

Our Guest

Debra Taitel is a gifted Clairvoyant Visionary, Energy Healer, Author, and Intuitive Business Consultant providing insight and guidance to clients around the world. In addition to her clairvoyant readings, business consulting and healing work Debra also offers one to one personal empowerment sessions and leads meditation workshops to help people heal and awaken to their own truth and spiritual gifts.
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The Stages of Emotional Liberation (Part II of a Five-Part Series about Clean Living)

3/12/2017

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​Guest Blogger: Aline DeFiglia, LCSW

What other people say or do may be a stimulus for our feelings, but never the cause. Whenever someone communicates negatively, we have four options:
  1. blame ourselves
  2. blame others
  3. sense our own feelings and needs
  4. sense the feelings and needs hidden in the other’s negative message
Judgments, criticisms, diagnoses and interpretations of people are all alienated expressions of our own needs and values. When people hear criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense and counterattack. The more directly we can connect our needs to our feelings, the easier it is for us to respond compassionately.
In a world where we are often harshly judged for identifying and revealing our needs, doing so can be very frightening, especially for women who are socialized to ignore their own needs while caring for others.
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In the course of developing emotional responsibility, most of us experience three stages:
  1. Emotional Slavery: Believing ourselves responsible for the feelings of others. We think we must constantly strive to keep everyone happy, which can be very detrimental to intimate relationships.
 Ex: “I’m really scared to be in a relationship. Every time I see my partner in pain or needing something, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I’m in prison, that I’m being smothered.”
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  1. The “Obnoxious Stage”: Where we refuse to admit to caring what anyone else wants or needs. We’ve become aware of the high costs of trying to accommodate others' feelings at our own expense and we get angry. “That’s your problem! I’m not responsible for your feelings!” We are clear what we are not responsible for, but we have yet to learn how to be responsible to others in a way that is not emotionally enslaving. We may continue to carry remnants of guilt and shame around having our own needs so we end up expressing our needs in ways that sound rigid and unyielding.
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  1. Emotional Liberation: We accept full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others. Emotional liberation involves stating clearly what we need in a way that communicates we are equally concerned that the needs of others be fulfilled. Nonviolent communication is meant to support us relating at the level of emotional liberation.

​Although we all have capacity to hurt one another, there is a difference between a mutual commitment to learn and practice more positive communication and the harm of abusive behavior. If you suspect you are a victim of abuse, there is help! http://www.thehotline.org/

The following was excerpted in part from Nonviolent Communication: 2nd Edition by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.

This article is the second in a five part series about clean living through toxin-free communication. To read Part I about Nonviolent Communication, click here.

Author

Aline Bethea Defiglia LCSW, MPH, CADC  is a licensed psychotherapist, life and career coach, trainer and consultant practicing in Chicago and Elmhurst, Illinois.  You can find out more at abwellness.life
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Clean Living: A Guide to Eating Clean

3/11/2017

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with Guest Blogger Laura B. Folkes

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When it comes to clean living, one aspect to consider is clean eating. It seems like this is a topic around food and diet that has become more prominent in the news and media, which is exciting for someone like me who is a Certified Holistic Health Coach.

It is definitely becoming more mainstream as restaurants such as Panera have cleaned up their menus to only include “clean” foods and ingredients. In case this concept is new to you, here’s the definition of clean eating:  “At its simplest, clean eating is about eating whole foods, or "real" foods — those that are un- or minimally processed, refined, and handled, making them as close to their natural form as possible.”

Based on this definition, eating clean is not a diet but is more of a way of life. It’s going back to simpler times when there weren’t as many packaged foods available and people relied on fruits, vegetables, meat, fish, good fats and whole, unprocessed grains as their food sources. I realize that eating a perfectly clean diet now a days can prove to be challenging, so here are a few tips and small steps you can take to start eating clean:

  1. Strive to eat clean 80% of the time. While this is ultimately where you’d like to get to, if you’re currently eating clean 20% of the time, aim for 40% and build on it slowly until you’re able to get to 80%. Making small, incremental changes can be helpful so it doesn’t feel like too much of a stretch. Ultimately you want any changes you make to be sustainable.
  2. You can still buy packaged foods; you just want to be sure to read the label. Ideally you should be able to pronounce and identify every ingredient and there should only be a handful of ingredients listed. If the label looks like a long paragraph you may want to skip that food and look for an option with fewer ingredients.
  3. It’s important that you don’t feel deprived. Many diets are built around deprivation, which is why 95% of fad diets fail and most people will regain the weight they lost in 1-5 years (see source below). One way to ensure you don’t feel deprived is to find clean recipes of some of your favorite foods. Here is a list of some great recipe options from Greatist.com.

Some of the benefits of eating a clean diet could include a more balanced energy level, maintaining a healthy weight, building up your immune system and improved sleep to name a few.

As with everything, you don’t need to strive for perfection when it comes to eating clean. Making small improvements and taking one step at a time will lead to results.
Receive a free "Busy Person's Guide to Eating Healthy on the Go" with tips and snack ideas you can enjoy anytime and anywhere at www.laurabfolkes.com. Laura can be contacted at laura@laurabfolkes.com.

Source: Statistics on Weight Discrimination: A Waste of Talent, The Council on Size and Weight Discrimination, Retrieved July 18, 2011, from (http://www.cswd.org/index.html)

Author

Laura B. Folkes is a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) and is a Certified Holistic Health Coach. She supports busy adults to take back control of their eating, successfully navigate life with food intolerances, reduce cravings and/or make sustainable changes without deprivation. After successfully losing 60 pounds and working through her own emotional relationship with food, Laura recognizes there are many factors keeping individuals from sticking to what they know works but it’s her mission to help others overcome these factors to become healthier and happier.
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Clean Living Through Toxin-Free Communication (Part I of a Five-Part Series about Clean Living)

3/9/2017

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with Guest Blogger Aline DeFiglia, LCSW

This article is the first in a five part series about clean living. If you stumbled across this looking for a DIY on the perfect ratio of essential oils for your newest homemade cleaning product… click here and enjoy! ​
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BUT THIS ISN’T THAT TYPE OF ARTICLE.
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If, on the other hand, you have ever felt pierced and heart broken by the spoken word…confused about how a conversation could go so terrible astray… read on my friend.
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Each week during the month of March, I will address a new aspect of toxin-free communication.

Week One: Non-Violent Communication
Week Two: The Stages of Emotional Liberation
Week Three: Listening 101
Week Four: The 1-2-3 Dialogue: Taking care of emotions in a conflict
Week Five: Creative Problem Solving

Now, more than ever, in a time of division and discord at many levels of society, may we learn to speak and listen in a way that leads us to give from the heart, connecting us more deeply with ourselves and with each other.

Part I: Non-Violent Communication

It may feel strange at first to consider the way someone talks to be “violent” but the truth is that words can often lead to pain. When we don’t feel heard, we can’t listen, and vice versa. When we stop listening, when we get trapped in our own negative cycle of defending, withdrawing, and attacking in the face of a perceived threat, our hearts and our minds calcify so much that connection and creative problem solving shut down.When Dr. Rosenberg speaks about his process of non-violent communication, he uses the term non-violence as Gandhi used it—to refer to our natural state of compassion, connection and creative flow when violence has subsided from the heart.
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Imagine, instead of a knee-jerk emotional response to a trigger, that your words could be a conscious response based firmly on the awareness of what you are perceiving, feeling, and wanting. Then, that you could express yourself honestly and with clarity, while simultaneously paying others a respectful and empathetic attention.
Four steps to a non-violent communication:

  1. State the actions you observe that affect your well-being
  2. How you feel in relation to what you observe
  3. The needs, values and desires that create your feelings
  4. Actions you request in order to enrich your life

​Example: Honey, when you don’t call me to let me know you are going to be late, I feel scared that something happened to you and disappointed because I had dinner prepared for us and I like to eat dinner together at night. Would you please call me if you won’t be home when I expect you and could we please make a regular time at least once a week to eat dinner together?

OR

“I feel    ………..     when     ………      because…………”

Although non-violent communication (NVC) has been referred to as a “process” or a “language of compassion” the truth is that it is more than that. On a deeper level, it is an on-going reminder to keep our attention focused on a place where we are more likely to get what we are seeking.

Part of NVC is to express these four points clearly. The other part of this communication consists in receiving these four pieces of information. We connect first by sensing what someone else is observing, feeling, and needing and then discovering what would enrich their life by receiving the fourth piece, the request.

The use of non-violent communication does not require that the people we are communicating with also know about it or even feel motivated to relate to us compassionately, although it is certainly helpful. By keeping your attention focused on the areas mentioned, and helping others do likewise, you can establish a flow of communication until compassion manifests naturally. Remember that the essence of NVC is in our consciousness of the four components, not in the actual words that are exchanged.

Stay tuned for next week’s piece about moving from Emotional Slavery to Emotional Liberation!

For more details about non-violent communication: check out http://www.cnvc.org/

The source for this article was the book written by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg Nonviolent Communication: 2nd Edition.

Author

Aline Bethea Defiglia LCSW, MPH, CADC  is a licensed psychotherapist, life and career coach, trainer and consultant practicing in Chicago and Elmhurst, Illinois.  You can find out more at abwellness.life
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