Guest Blog Feature: Heather Fraelick, LMT & Facilitator of The Art of Letting Go: A Myofascial Self-Care Workshop
Heather offers her incredible self-care classes (as demonstrated above) at Tribe on the 4th Thursdays of every month from 7-9pm in addition to operating a private practice in massage therapy in Chicago. We sat down to learn about what inspires, influences and informs this community member.
What are some key things you share with people who have never experienced your workshop?
Come as you are, be open to learning something new and know that you’ll be in a safe space to heal. I provide individual, as well as, group attention and no questions will go unaddressed. As a teacher I find it enjoyable and important for me to share information on an audible, kinesthetic and visual level to help enhance understanding of the material shared.
What inspired you to create this workshop?
I am inspired when I see someone feel empowered. I, personally, feel empowered when I know the tools that can enhance my body’s health and my overall wellbeing and it is important, as well as fun, for me to share these tools with others so, they too, can feel empowered and able to achieve their health care goals. Myofascial Release self care techniques have positively enhanced my active lifestyle, have empowered clients I’ve worked with take an active approach to their well-being and I simply want to share them with others!
How has this work influenced your life personally?
This work has strengthened the connection I have with my body and well-being. I have increased range of motion in my joints and a sense of freedom in my body when I move. I notice when I am able to move my body with greater ease, it positively affects my state of mind and I am able to enjoy my life and physical activities more as a result.
How might others benefit from experiencing your workshop for self-care?
Others may benefit from this workshop by adding self care tools to their everyday regime that can enhance their overall well-being, help them release tension patterns in their body, allow them move with a greater sense of ease and it can also help enhance and maintain the work they receive in bodywork/massage therapy or myofascial release sessions. All of these benefits can contribute to a sense of empowerment because they will readily have these tools to draw from as a form of prevention or to use when chronic tension patterns start to arise.
When and where do you offer these classes?
This workshop is offered once a month at Tribe, A Healing Arts Community located at 1819 W Belmont Avenue. The dates and focus of each session are as follows:
Remaining 2017 Schedule:
5/25 - The Front Body Release
6/22 - The Back Body Release
7/27 - The Neck & TMJ Release
8/24 - The Shoulders/Arms/Hands Release
9/28 - The Torso & Chest Release
10/26 - The Quads/Hammies & Glutes Release
11/16 - The Lower Legs & Feet Release
12/28 - Students Choice Release
All workshops are from 7-9pm.
Anything else you'd like to share?
I am a lover of movement and life! I was a professional dancer and have danced for over 34 years. I am also passionate learning about other cultures and ways of being in the world. I travel the world on a regular basis to feed this love and curiosity within me. I’ve been to 40 of the 50 states and I’ve traveled to 8 countries….most recent travels, Australia!
Lastly, but not least, my passion for bodywork and healing is strong. I feel the body is a barometer of how we feel in our lives. Not a new idea - metaphysics talks about it - but I want people to recognize that when we work together, we’re fine tuning your barometer. When you're stuck in your head all day long, it’s challenging to make anything better because you’re so disconnected from the vessel you’re in. How in the world can you make changes in your life if you’re not connected? You can only think your way through life so much. You have to feel your body and life in order to heal it.
Elegant Solutions through Collaborative Problem Solving (Part V of a Five-Part Series about Clean Living)
with Guest Blogger Aline Defiglia LCSW
Two people were studying in a small, stuffy room in a University library. One person wanted the window open, one person wanted it closed. Instead of focusing on solutions, (whether the window would be opened or closed) they concentrated on needs and resolved the problem by coming up with another alternative- opening a window in the next room. This provided fresh air for the person who wanted it and, at the same time, prevented the north wind from blowing directly on the person who objected to being in a strong draft.
Is it really possible to craft a win/win method of solving many of the most entrenched interpersonal issues we face? Can we be released from….
win/lose CAPITULATION and DOMINATION?
lose/lose DENIAL and AVOIDANCE?
Collaborative problem solving requires the use of listening skills, assertion skills, and the 1-2-3 dialogue or conflict resolution method. Let’s go through the six-step process step by step. Pay attention to the common pitfalls of using this method!
Step 1: Define the problem in terms of needs, not solutions
Step 2: Brainstorm possible solutions
Step 3: Select the solution or combination of solutions that meet both parties’ needs
Step 4: Plan who will do what, where, and by when
Step 5: Implement the Plan
Step 6: Evaluate the problem-solving process and, at a later date, how well the solution turned out
The methods you have learned through this series have many uses: at home, at school, and at work. They can be used in goal setting, as a supplement to listening at a certain stage in helping relationships, in rule setting, and in individual problem solving, among others.
The time you spend learning how to communicate toxin –free is time repaid many times over!
“When you fail to use your creative, problem-solving talent, you strike at the quality of your own life.” –George Prince
The following was excerpted in part from People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts by: Robert Bolton, Ph.D. This is the final article in a five part series about clean living through toxin-free communication. To read Part I about Nonviolent Communication, click here. To read Part II about Emotional Liberation, click here. To read Part III about Listening, click here. To read Part IV about the 1-2-3 Dialogue: Handling Emotions in a Conflict, click here.
The 1-2-3 Dialogue: Handling Emotions in a Conflict (Part IV of a Five-Part Series about Clean Living)
with Guest Blogger Aline Defiglia LCSW
When people get emotionally escalated, they are actually fundamentally different people than when they are calm.
The 1-2-3 Dialogue can be thought of as a simple set of rules that govern conflict. We are familiar with this concept when it comes to the sports arena or even war between nations.
However, in the most important areas of our lives, conflicts are largely unregulated, with no agreed upon rules to protect the participants or the relationship.
Step 1: Treat the other person with respect
Respect for another person is an attitude backed up by specific actions such as the way you listen, your tone of voice, selection of words, and type of reasoning. Even if you greatly respect another person, you are likely to judge, attack and criticize in the heat of conflict. Words or non-verbal actions of disrespect are often done carelessly, but they block communication and create wounds that may never fully heal.
Step 2: Listen until you hear the other side
“We do not understand an opposing idea until we have so exposed ourselves to it that we feel the pull of its persuasion, until we arrive at the point where we really see the power of whatever element of truth it contains.” -Dr. Richard Cabot
When you are listening, it is not the time to offer explanations, apologies, or make any other statements except to reflect your understanding of the other person’s point of view or experience. Allow the other person time to think about your reflection, indicate that it was correct, explain their point of view further, or correct any inaccuracies in their speaking or your listening. If the other person adds or corrects your reflection, summarize that addition to their satisfaction. Visit my previous article: Listening 101 for more details.
When the other person feels heard, you have earned the right to speak your point of view and express your feelings.
Step 3: State your views, needs and feelings
There are four ways to use the 1-2-3 Dialogue
1. You can use it even when another person is not. By listening with respect and responding in non-inflammatory ways, you can help the other person calm down and engage in a more productive conversation
2. In the heat of a conflict, you can introduce the method briefly and ask the other person to join you in this way of communicating.
3. Introduce the method when things are calm and peaceful.
4. You can use it to help others resolve conflicts by helping mediate in a third party role.
The following was excerpted in part from People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts by: Robert Bolton, Ph.D. This article is the third in a five part series about clean living through toxin-free communication. To read Part I about Nonviolent Communication, click here. To read Part II about Emotional Liberation, click here. To read Part III about Listening, click here.
Next week stay tuned for how to creatively solve problems in the midst of conflict!
with Guest Blogger Aline Defiglia LCSW
Hearing + suspenseful waiting = Listening
“True human sincerity, true transparency…It is a rare and difficult thing; and so much of it depends on the person who is listening to us!
And when it comes our turn to listen, which of these are we…?”
Effective listening involves three main skills: Paying Attention, Following, and Reflecting.
Attention is giving your physical attention to another person, listening with your whole body. To attend to someone is to have an open posture, lean in, maintain eye contact and remain in relaxed alertness.
85% of communication is non-verbal!
Following means to stay out of the other person’s way so you can discover how they view their situation. Invite someone to speak, encourage them with short, minimal phrases, ask open-ended questions (infrequently!), and practice the value of silence.
Reflecting is when the listener restates the feeling or content of what the speaker has communicated and does so in a way that demonstrates understanding and acceptance.
What You Can Expect
There are four stages in the process of improving communication. First, when a person learns about the roadblocks they have been sending all their life, they feel guilty. Then, when they try these new skills, it seems wooden and artificial, and so the person feels phony. However, after using these new techniques for a few weeks, people often become quite skillful at them. Finally, after using them for a couple of years, it becomes so integrated into the person’s life style that they do it well and without conscious awareness.
The following was excerpted in part from People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts by: Robert Bolton, Ph.D. This article is the third in a five part series about clean living through toxin-free communication. To read Part I about Nonviolent Communication, click here. To read Part II about Emotional Liberation, click here.
Guest Blogger: Aline DeFiglia, LCSW
What other people say or do may be a stimulus for our feelings, but never the cause. Whenever someone communicates negatively, we have four options:
In a world where we are often harshly judged for identifying and revealing our needs, doing so can be very frightening, especially for women who are socialized to ignore their own needs while caring for others.
In the course of developing emotional responsibility, most of us experience three stages:
Although we all have capacity to hurt one another, there is a difference between a mutual commitment to learn and practice more positive communication and the harm of abusive behavior. If you suspect you are a victim of abuse, there is help! http://www.thehotline.org/
The following was excerpted in part from Nonviolent Communication: 2nd Edition by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.
This article is the second in a five part series about clean living through toxin-free communication. To read Part I about Nonviolent Communication, click here.
with Guest Blogger Laura B. Folkes
When it comes to clean living, one aspect to consider is clean eating. It seems like this is a topic around food and diet that has become more prominent in the news and media, which is exciting for someone like me who is a Certified Holistic Health Coach.
It is definitely becoming more mainstream as restaurants such as Panera have cleaned up their menus to only include “clean” foods and ingredients. In case this concept is new to you, here’s the definition of clean eating: “At its simplest, clean eating is about eating whole foods, or "real" foods — those that are un- or minimally processed, refined, and handled, making them as close to their natural form as possible.”
Based on this definition, eating clean is not a diet but is more of a way of life. It’s going back to simpler times when there weren’t as many packaged foods available and people relied on fruits, vegetables, meat, fish, good fats and whole, unprocessed grains as their food sources. I realize that eating a perfectly clean diet now a days can prove to be challenging, so here are a few tips and small steps you can take to start eating clean:
Some of the benefits of eating a clean diet could include a more balanced energy level, maintaining a healthy weight, building up your immune system and improved sleep to name a few.
As with everything, you don’t need to strive for perfection when it comes to eating clean. Making small improvements and taking one step at a time will lead to results.
Receive a free "Busy Person's Guide to Eating Healthy on the Go" with tips and snack ideas you can enjoy anytime and anywhere at www.laurabfolkes.com. Laura can be contacted at email@example.com.
Source: Statistics on Weight Discrimination: A Waste of Talent, The Council on Size and Weight Discrimination, Retrieved July 18, 2011, from (http://www.cswd.org/index.html)
June is Men's Health Month!
Each week we sit down with one of our practitioners to discuss topics of interest in the health & wellness industry.
Laura B. Folkes joins us this week!
After successfully losing 60 pounds and working through my own emotional relationship with food, I decided to leave my career in advertising after 13 years to become a Certified Holistic Health Coach. I received my certification from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition® (IIN) in 2014 and have been working with clients since. As a Health Coach I support busy adults to:
What aspects of your practice do you believe relate in particular to men's health?
I thoroughly enjoy working with men in my practice especially as it relates to their weight, food and emotional eating. Regardless of who I'm working with, my approach is personalized based on my client's lifestyle and needs."
What are three health & wellness tips that you'd recommend for men's health?
Don't be afraid to ask for support. It can be helpful to have a guide on the side to help provide new tips/ideas you may not have thought of.
If you have a craving for a food you feel you shouldn’t eat, stop and ask yourself what you’re really craving. Is it really the food you want? Sometimes we may crave food when we what we really want is companionship or as a reward for getting through the long and busy day. These are just two examples.
If you are able to identify you are craving something other than the food, determine if you can find an alternative that is not food related but will help satisfy the craving.
Any articles or resources that you find valuable for men's health that you'd like to share?
This article focuses on emotional eating and how both men and women can have an emotional relationship with food. It also outlines how emotional eating may not be exactly what you expect:"
Emotional Eating Doesn't Discriminate
By Laura B. Folkes
As humans we all need to eat. And regardless of our sex or ethnicity there seems to be a commonality that food is at the center of a lot of occasions. When we’re raised with food being at the center of so many aspects of our lives, it’s only natural that we create lifelong habits (even if we don’t know they exist), which show up in multiple ways.
When I first started working as a Health Coach, we are told to define our niche market. Since my passion is supporting busy adults on their weight journey with a focus on emotional eating, I automatically assumed I would work with women. Our culture has a tendency to stereotype that women are more concerned about their weight, body image and are more emotional than men, which is why a lot of healthy foods and diets are typically marketed toward women. However, it has been my experience that not surprisingly men care about their bodies and what they eat too. Similar to women, men can also have an emotional relationship with food.
Read more here...
We're so grateful to Laura for sharing this valuable information for Men's Health Month and for being a valued member of Tribe.
Three fabulous students of the Feldenkrais Method, Emily Stein (ES), Erin Kelly (EK) and Shannon Sullivan (SS) were kind enough to share with us their journeys and successes with the Feldenkrais Method. They co-teach Awareness Through Movement® on Mondays at Tribe.
In Awareness Through Movement® lessons, students are verbally guided through structured explorations that involve thinking, sensing, moving, and imagining. Lessons consist of comfortable, gentle movements, often based on development, ordinary functionality, or physical relationships between areas of the body.
Classes are $15 to drop-in. Find more info here.
Here's what they had to say:
What are some important things you share with people who have never heard of the Feldenkrais Method?
ES: I think it's important for people to know it's for ANYone. One needn't be an athlete, nor conversely, dealing with some sort of injury or condition, to do the lessons and see benefits. It's also important to know that it's not "exercise", it's learning a way to make whatever your form of exercise is work better for you.
SS: One of the easiest ways to introduce people to Feldenkrais is to say that it's a movement modality, but movement is really just the medium. The method is actually about learning, unlearning and awareness. It's about the process of becoming more and more yourself. And if what you want is to move better, or easier or with less pain, it provides that too.
Would you mind sharing with us your journey of becoming a teacher of Feldenkrais?
ES: I was introduced to FM through dance, which is my profession. As a performer, choreographer and teacher, the method has impacted everything I do in some way. It reinforced many things I had been thinking about and teaching for years, and gave me both a way to delve deeper and a language to share it. It exactly fit my level of nerdiness and fascination about how bodies work. The more I learned, the more I wanted to know. It's been a great evolution for me.
EK: I decided to become a Feldenkrais teacher after quitting an unfulfilling job and allowing myself the space to follow my heart and I have never felt more sure of my path in life. I hope to share with others the many ways that Feldenkrais can benefit your life.
SS: After 13 years in health, fitness and personal development, I was having a bit of a professional crisis of faith. I sat down to share a cup of coffee with a friend and colleague, and he said to me, "You should try Feldenkrais, I think you'd really love it." One week later I went to a one-day workshop, and a week after that I started the training. My friend was exactly right. For me professionally, Feldenkrais clarified my big picture and synthesized all my other interests. It has become the primary lens through which I view all of my work, because it is truly a lens of learning- and learning is what I love most.
How has Feldenkrais influenced your life personally?
ES: As an experienced professional dancer and teacher, I had come to accept a certain level of pain, and certain limitations of movement, as just the results of my career. The Feldenkrais Method has shown me that I don't have to accept that, that I can live and move with much less pain and more freedom, and can continue to learn and grow, physically, mentally and emotionally. It has also given me the tools to help my students in the same way, and to help people avoid a lot of discomfort to begin with!
EK: It was chronic back pain that first brought me to the Feldenkrais Method, but it was the profound emotional and personal effects that kept me coming back. From the first moment I laid on the floor and heard the words "now notice what you notice..." I was hooked. The Method spoke to me in a way that no other modality ever had. My life began to change in gentle but powerful ways. My relationships improved, my balance and concentration improved, and stress became more manageable. The pain that once brought me to the Method became a distant memory. But most of all, I began to learn on an intrinsic level how to be kind to myself. Feldenkrais helped me to realize that there was so much more of ME existing with my body.
SS: After years dealing with chronic physical pain, Feldenkrais is allowing me to unwind damaging habits and and find ways of moving and being pain-free. Also, Feldenkrais grounds me better and faster than any other practice I've done. If I'm feeling over-excited, or over-agitated, I can take 10 minutes to move with awareness and come back to an emotional baseline where all directions are possible.
How might others benefit from adding Feldenkrais for self-care?
ES: The Method helps you to do whatever it is you do, better. It starts from a place of empowerment, that everyone can continue to learn. So whether your goals are to climb a mountain, or to reach for a box of cereal without pain, it can help you improve yourself.
EK: The Feldenkrais Method is great for any age, any fitness level, and any body! It is relaxing, empowering, and captivating for curious minds. Most of all, it is very hard to put into words-- come experience a lesson and see for yourself!
SS: I hear that Feldenkrais said about his method that it can help anyone do anything better. I have had great results working with people looking for relaxation, relief from pain or tension, or increased awareness to inform their pursuits. I recommend Feldenkrais to anyone curious to discover more possibility in life.
Anything else you'd like to share?
ES: Visit my website at: http://emilysteindance.com/
EK: I am local to Chicago. I am a passionate tie dye artist. I love riding my bike, singing in the car, and adventuring with my husband. Besides teaching ATM lessons at Tribe in Roscoe Village, I am also available for private lessons.
SS: I am co-teaching Monday mornings at Tribe, and often teach at Tribe's monthly Community Nights. I also teach for students at Black Box Acting's ACADEMY program and in one-on-one sessions. I am planning to offer more classes soon, so if anyone has a particular day or time that they'd like, please let me know! My website is www.bodieslearning.com, and I recently launched another site - www.atmchicago.net - where I'm working to build an aggregate listing of all Awareness Through Movement classes in the Chicagoland area.
During a session I had with a holistic practitioner a few months ago, she pointed out how often I use the word ‘try’ in conversation. It was eye opening; over a year ago I had made a conscious effort to eliminate it from my text and email replies, noticing how flaky and non-committal it sounded. ‘I’ll try to make it!’ ‘I’ll try and get that done by Friday!.’ I may just as well have said ‘Sorry, I know I won’t make it/get it done.’ But I was oblivious to how much I was still using it in verbal conversation, particularly when talking about myself and my poor habits: ‘I’m trying to drink more water,’ ‘I’m trying to get organized,’ ‘I’m trying to eat more greens,’ and so on.
When I think about ‘trying’ to do something, I picture either attempting something & failing, using a lot of effort or working really hard and never actually achieving the desired outcome. I realized I was ‘trying’ (and failing miserably) to control certain aspects of my life, instead of just ‘being.’
The impact of words on the subconscious mind is quite fascinating. In fact it’s a big part of my practice & how I cue clients in breathing and movement awareness. The verb I choose to convey an action can be the difference between the client using the correct muscle group to create proper alignment and stabilization, or over-compressing the joint and pulling it out of alignment by using a different muscle group altogether.
If you picture the words soften, lengthen, float, melt in relation to your ribcage, and then think about the words flex, connect, brace, contract, you should be able to feel the power words have on your mind and body.
I practice Qigong weekly with our practitioner Jeanne Steen. Qigong is a gentle moving meditation that promotes the flow of qi (or life force energy) by ‘allowing’ the qi to create the movement. For the first few months I struggled to get my brain to grasp what that really meant, and translate it into how I moved my body. Then one day I had an epiphany during class about how to ‘allow movement’ instead of ‘creating it.’ Over several years I have trained in Strain Counterstrain techniques and as an Integrative Movement Specialist. In both the focus is on very precise joint positioning to reduce nervous system firing, which in turn reduces tightness & pain. So I decided to apply some of this knowledge to my Qigong practice.
Rather than focusing on my shoulders and hips as my arms and legs moved, I put my attention on creating the right conditions for movement in my body. I visualized space between my vertebrae to create length, decompression and stability in my spine and I spread my planted foot and toes to create a stable base for a one legged stance. Once the conditions were set, I let go of everything else and thought about floating my other foot off the ground. I found this allowed my hip flexors to just do their job (instead of concentrating on the alignment of my hip and choosing which muscles I thought should be working the most). The resulting leg lift was effortless and I felt completely stable with no compression in my low back. The qi did it! Or that’s how it felt at least, as if it had just floated into the air.
From that one leg lift I learned that if I just stay present in my body and focus on creating the space to allow movement to happen (instead of sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong and trying to control how my subconscious mind wants to lift my leg), there is a lot less effort required and things turn out just right. Of course maintaining that level of mindfulness every time we lift our leg is a challenge, and it doesn’t just start to happen that way once we figure it out, but the goal is for it to happen more frequently with practice.
This realization has also translated into reducing effort in other areas of my life. I often try to control all aspects of a situation, like an Olympic Curling Athlete, furiously micromanaging the melting of the ice to make things go exactly the way I want them to. But if I just focus on creating the space (or framework) for a successful outcome and then step back to allow what I put in place to unfold, things tend to happen organically.
Two other emotional habits that can also really mess up the art of allowing things into your life are worry and attachment, particularly attachment to an outcome.
I remember learning a bite-sized lesson in letting go of attachments one day at a restaurant in the suburbs several years ago. My young niece was messing around and knocked my bag onto the ground, breaking in two a prized possession of mine that had been attached to my bag for several years. It was an eye of protection stone, given to me by a good friend after her travels, to protect me from negative people. My niece saw the heartbreak on my face and immediately began to cry. In that moment I had to make a decision about what was more important: an inanimate object, or consoling my grief stricken niece.
I could have chosen to create continued suffering around losing something irreplaceable, but instead I allowed myself to be sad for a bit, and then just let it go. What good would that suffering do? It wouldn’t bring back the stone. Since that day I’ve found it much easier not to hold material possessions in such high regard.
Years of renovation on my 100 year old building and the opening build out of Tribe have also taught me to let go of the need for (or attachment to) perfection. In the early days of renovating my home I would stare at all the century old nail holes, water stains and gaps in the wood and obsess over it. After living with them for 15 years I don’t give them a second thought anymore. Instead I choose to enjoy the beauty of the wood that has withstood the test of time.
I still have a tendency to stare at the pipes under the wall mount bathroom sinks at Tribe in utter disgust sometimes, which I notice happens on days when I am feeling a little off my game or stressed about something else. But I have learned to move on. In the grand scheme of things some ugly U-pipes are insignificant compared to the zillion other issues humanity faces on a daily basis. This doesn’t mean of course that I don’t have a plan in place to box in the pipes. I now just ‘allow’ the pipes to sit there in their ugliness until that day arrives.
As for attachment to an outcome and worry, I could say that I’ve been ‘trying’ to give them up, but I won’t. Lets just say they’re a work in progress. I’ll have to get back to you on them...
If you interested in trying some of the modalities that have helped me through this process of learning to let go and allow more, Jeanne teaches QiGong 3 times per week and the first class is free. Hypnotherapy, offered by our practitioner Karen has been invaluable in taking control of the annoying little voice in my head (like someone who won't stop talking during a movie). I have learned how to politely ask it to pipe down. #talktothehand
When Tribe’s co-owner Cari and I first became friends 10 years ago, our time together mostly consisted of drinking wine and talking work gossip with other instructors after class. Over the years as the seasons changed and our rendezvous locations shifted from sunny patios to cozy fireplaces and back, our large group dwindled to just a remaining few, as people moved out of the city, state and even country.
We began to work more closely with each other in our (now mostly administrative) jobs, and more of our time together was spent under the influence of the jet fuel strength coffee from the staff kitchen instead.
Through shared remorseful mornings (Too much wine last night? Let’s fix it with jet fuel!) we started to recognize a common thread in both our pasts:
Poaching the internet meme, we began to refer to this as ‘The Struggle’.
The Fix it Phase
Over the years we’ve explored numerous healing and self improvement modalities. Some extremely enjoyable (crystal singing bowl meditation, salt caves, Gong baths) and some excruciatingly out of our comfort zone (pretend this person you just met is your parent and you are your child self; tell them all the reasons you are mad at them. Identify your biggest fear and then overcome it by snapping a stick in half with you and your partner’s tracheas). But all experiences, good and bad, have been helpful in shaping and molding us in some way towards that seemingly elusive goal: optimal health of mind, body and spirit.
Some days we are better at making good choices than others. We fall off our healthy living wagon frequently, but we dust ourselves off and get back on. We find that each time it gets a little easier to get back on, we don’t fall as far off, or we can last longer than the time before.
Helping Others with The Struggle
Experiencing The Struggle in our own lives makes us aware of the need to meet people where they are. Change can’t be forced from the outside. All we can do for others is educate, motivate and inspire when they are ready.
Cari and I spent years beating ourselves up for repeating the same mistakes and not learning the lesson and it didn’t get us anywhere. There is a fine but distinct line between complacency and being kind and forgiving of yourself. Finding that right balance of forgiveness mixed with determination to create change has probably been the most difficult challenge for both of us.
What we have found helpful is:
I have personally found the last one to be huge. If a friend or family member is feeling poorly or emotionally upset, I jump into immediate action with lemon and manuka honey, essential oils, homeopathic remedies, flower essences, supplements, or whatever natural remedy is indicated for their condition. I feed my cats a homemade species-appropriate diet, give them supplements twice a day in a stimulating environment and I wouldn’t dream of letting them eat junk. So why could I not take such good care of myself and give myself the things I know my body or mind needed vs (what I thought I) wanted? I could write another blog about that…
A Community of Strugglers
A fellow healer said to me in frustration once ‘”Why can’t people just do what they know they need to do to heal?!” I was at a loss for words. I can only assume it was a rhetorical question, as the answer is glaringly obvious to me: Because that s#*t is hard! We’re brainwashed by drug, food and heath gadget commercials into thinking we can just buy ourselves a quick fix and continue doing whatever we want. So why would we bother doing it the hard way?!
Tribe is a community of people who respect that nobody is perfect; that eating salads and the right amount of vegetables, making fresh juices and smoothies, cooking from scratch at home, drinking lemon water, working out, meditating, oil pulling and everything that we are supposed to be doing daily for our health is close to impossible for many, if not most, people. Life often just gets in the way. Deepak and Dr. Mercola, we love you, but your level of commitment borders on superhuman.
If we’re honest, we find people for who healthy lifestyles come easy a bit boring. What inspires us is someone who finds it difficult and does it anyway; cursing and swearing their way through it if necessary.
We hope that by forming a community of like-minded people we can: